“Momalanche” of Hate…for being Healthy

In the news yesterday was a story that got some traction because of a few key words: bullying, fat, moms….

A few women went on the attack after a women who posted a fantastic picture of herself and her three kids with the caption “What’s your excuse”Maria kang

They called her a “bully” saying that she is making women feel inferior and it’s not a “normal” expectation for women.

Funny, bullies trying to turn the table. They are bullying her saying she needs to be sorry that she is committed to being fit, healthy and looking good.  “Oh my shame on her”, really?

So the “Momalanche” of hate unleashed on this girl who likely gets up at an early hour or stays up late to workout and make her meals.  Yeah, that sounds awful.  I’m willing to bet if all the hating, chastising and bullying women had a body like hers after putting in the work they would probably be burning up Instagram with ‘selfies’ of their hard bodies.  But since it’s easier to whine, mope and bellyache, they will just try to bring others down to their pity party, like the crabs in the bucket.

Being fit and looking good is a priority to her…so much so that she is willing to do the work where most people are too lazy. Then those said lazy people try to get nasty and say that she is bullying women to feel that they are not good enough. If its important to you, YOU WILL FIND A WAY, if it’s not, you will FIND AN EXCUSE.

I saw a news clip  about this story that had a panel with a “parenting expert”….what?   She also condemned her saying that it is unrealistic for moms to achieve that kind of body–WHAT???????? Are you kidding? Yes moms are tired…so are dads. Yes parents have a lot of responsibilities and it is draining and taxing on the best of days but to say that being fit and looking good is unrealistic is garbage. This kind of thinking and over the top political correctness is making this world a crazy place.  Oh, and the parenting expert that ripped apart the committed, hard-working mom of three; Aren’t we all that have children parenting experts?

I have been on the receiving end of  hate mail, nasty tweets or comments on Facebook because I am trying to motivate and inspire people to get healthy. I was a fat kid who turned into a fat teen.  I had to work my butt off to lose over 100lbs…I work every dang day to stay in shape.

After my first child, I chose to diet and I chose to sweat each and everyday to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight.  Losing 60 pounds wasn’t a task.  It wasn’t a burden.  It was a goal.  You know what’s tough?  When you balloon up 70 pounds being pregnant with twins and then try to lose that weight when your twins are only sleeping in 45mins at a shot every night …for months.  In my constant sleep deprived state I worked out each and every day because I DID NOT WANT TO BE OUT OF SHAPE AND OVERWEIGHT. I had every excuse in the world but I decided to do the work….and yes it was tough.  But I had a goal.   It was to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, to be fit and healthy.

Why are we not congratulating people who are successful? 

The world has gone soft.  That’s painfully obvious with the obesity epidemic that’s happening.

Funny…so many people are standing on a pedestal or soap box claiming victory over their bodies and embracing being “oversized” and championing “big is beautiful”.  That’s great for them.  It’s not for me, but if it’s for them, congratulations.  But why is it OK for them to chastise hard work, dedication to health and a focus on fitness but if they are told to lose weight, stop eating and work out…then it’s bullying.  Bit of a double standard no?

I will never apologize for being healthy.

I will never apologize for being healthy.

Comments

comments

25 comments

  1. Some people ONLY get self satisfaction by putting down others. I have NO idea how this makes them feel better about themselves. But I think they should put their money where their mouth is, go do serious workouts for only one month and then tell us how crappy they feel. NOT !!!!! They’d feel fabulous and then be on the other side. Shame on them!

  2. I totally understand what she was saying, I just think she went about it in the wrong way. I think the “what’s your excuse” was combative and she knew it would cause controversy, resulting in pageviews, facebook likes/shares, and media attention. She’s a smart woman and knew she’d face backlash, but that she’d end up benefiting from it in a way. Maybe something more along the lines of “I did it and you can, too” would have been received better and seen as an inspiring message, but it wouldn’t have gotten her the attention she was looking for. She even admits that her results aren’t typical. There’s nothing wrong with flaunting what you worked so hard for, and I applaud her for being committed to being fit, but I can not say this “campaign” is something that the majority of women struggling with body issues and low self-esteem would find helpful and uplifting.

    1. I think getting caught up in the wording would be a never ending cycle. I have blogged alot about making excuses and that’s what it comes down to. What some find controversial others find motivating. For me it’s the principle. She is taking care of herself. Let’s celebrate that as opposed to looking to find fault. As for this being a marketing tactic…again, good for her for having the brains to pull it off. Women are so hard on each other. Calling her a bully or then trying to bully her into an apology is madness. People should focus on their own health and how to improve it then looking to others and trying to tear them down.

      The entire age of social media is driven by self-promotion on some level and in this case, Maria did a fantastic job of it. Her idea of “What’s your excuse” is fantastic. Why soften the image she was trying to create by making the words less powerful or less intense?

      It’s simple in the end…if you don’t like it, flush it. If you dont agree with her, ignore her. If you support her, like I do, promote her and her choices. If you don’t then move on.

      Do you chastise diet companies for saying, “results are not typical” in the fine print or do you just ignore them and make your own choices.

  3. I’d say it is just plain jealousy on the part of the women who are doing this. Maybe too lazy to get off their butt’s and do something themselves so they have to find fault with those who do!!! Mom

    1. I agree. Women can be mean and jealousy is an ugly thing. There is so much negative in the world, we all need to focus on good things and things that involve us and not get fired up over someone else’s success. Thanks for reading the blog Nana 🙂

  4. FABOOSH response!! I agree 100%… This was my year to have to excuses and I have done just that..from a size 12/14 in Jan to a toned as hell size 4/6 now..I get up at 530 to hit the gym and home before my family is awake..I do this 5 days a week..this is work and it’s hard work..I was the excuse maker…now I am the Excuse breaker…Cheers

    1. Love it Dee..Excuse Breaker!!! Good for you! I know you have a crazy busy work schedule and a full family life and you made the decision to make your health a priority-fantastic!! You look incredible, super happy and proud of you!!

  5. I can’t lie- this photo, well the caption actually, leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Good for her for working really hard after having her kids and achieving that body, I have nothing but admiration for her dedication and what I know must have been a lot of work.
    Here’s my issue- I agree with the previous comment- it’s a really combative and negative way to throw it out there. And I don’t think she’s smart for using that kind of tactic to get attention, I think she’s shallow and trashy.
    As a new mom I feel alot of pressure to be thin and fit- and don’t get me wrong, those are things that I want. I’m not going to pretend I haven’t used my share of excuses in the last 8 months but I’m working on it and am improving my health and fitness. I know I don’t have to talk about all the other things that I’m responsible for in my life and my daughter’s life- it’s not like I’m the first woman to have a child and have found it difficult to get motivated and push through the tired (laziness- I know!) to work out and take care of myself.
    I guess where I get upset is this obsession with being perfect and fit and thin in a VERY short period of time following the birth of a child. Our bodies change drastically, and honestly I think that picture is likely seriously modified or she has seriously good genes- you’re telling me she got away with not a single stretch mark or bit of loose skin after three kids?? I was extremely sad when people commented on Kate (the Duchess) and her post-partum body and how she still had a bump….are you kidding me?? She literally gave birth like 24hrs earlier (or less) and came out looking truly stunning and people had the audacity to ask why she still had a bump, brutal. As a new mom myself, I’m highly sensitive to the criticism of a woman’s body after having a child.
    I want to be healthy, I want to be fit, and I want to look good (not be “thin”, I hate the overuse of the word thin- thin isn’t healthy! Thin is a word to describe someone that is underweight, are we striving to be underweight now??). That photo and it’s caption don’t motivate me and from the sounds of it, it doesn’t do much to motivate many other women.
    I am motivated by someone who believes in me, not by someone who believes they are better than me- and this woman clearly thinks she’s better than alot of women out there who haven’t achieved what she has. I am motivated by real women, real moms, who look to inspire, not challenge or put down.
    So thank you Carrie, for being all the real things that motivate me- you have always been someone who I know can pick me up when I’m down and push me in the right direction- and you do it with positive words and energy….and sometimes a megaphone 😉

  6. Sushi! I know how hard it is once you have a baby. You are a strong and determined girl. Don’t let her words or her intentions affect you. Like I mentioned about, focusing on the wording would be a merry go round.Sometimes, it is the tough love that helps people break through mental blocks they have. The point of this blog was to congratulate this women but to also call out all of those women who are essentially bullying her because she achieved success. We need to support each other not look to find fault. Not everything will sit right with everyone…if you find value you take it, if not move along. I will always be a cheerleader for you with or without the megaphone-lol.

    1. I hear you and I wasn’t commenting on your blog so much as I was the photo- I agree with what you said, there’s no reason to bully this girl or anyone for that matter! Congrats to her for what she’s accomplished- honestly 🙂

    1. So true.There are other things going on in the world to get upset about not a women’s physical appearance. I support her for making her health a priority. Thanks for reading the blog!!

  7. Yes, yes, yes. I find the photo incredibly motivating and want to give her a high five! I think it’s such a shame that women get backlash for celebrating accomplishments. Since when aren’t we allowed to be proud of hard work? Why are we tearing each other down instead of cheering each other on?

    Great post girl. I find you incredibly motivating, too!

    1. SO TRUE!! I think the world would be a better place if we cheered each other on! If you do the work in fitness or in life and you are successful, celebrate it!! Being kind and supportive is seemingly a lost art now. Kind words written or spoken can make a difference in your day!!
      Thanks so much for taking the time to read the blog post and comment, I really appreciate it!!!

  8. I honestly don’t think the issue should be about big or thin, fit or not, I think the conversation should be about being happy with who you are and being healthy. If you are a fitness buff who enjoys working out, eating a certain way and being a certain size then GREAT! If you are an average or curvy woman who enjoys a cookie or 2 now and then, and don’t enjoy working out but are healthy, GREAT! We need to be more accepting of each other. As women and as mothers, we need to be more supportive and accepting and stop judging. Just because one mom chooses to make fitness a priority in her life does NOT mean she’s a bad mom or she’s shallow or whatever insults might be hurled her way. Just because a mom chooses NOT to make fitness a priority in her life does NOT mean she’s lazy or unhealthy etc. etc. Neither type of mom deserves to have to defend herself or feel like less than. Us women have enough to deal with on a day to day basis. I guess the only REAL problem here is that all too often, the fitness Moms with turn up their noses at the average or chunky women saying “no excuses…”, “lazy…” “overindulgent…” meanwhile the average/chunky mommas are looking at the woman going for a run with her tight fit body, and turning THEIR noses up at her “selfishness…”, “shallowness…”, “bad parenting…” etc. I say CONGRATS to the women who can manage their diets, make time for intense fitness and rock their smokin’ bods…. and CONGRATS to the women who enjoy who they are, just the way they are! Let work together ladies…. time to start respecting and looking out for one another on a deeper level!

    XO

    1. I agree, let’s start being kind! Like I mentioned in the previous comment, women are so hard on each other…men would never attack another man because he was showing off his abs. Happiness comes from within. Personally, being fit makes me happy. When I tipped the scales at 225lbs I was miserable.
      Thanks for your comment!!

  9. She didn’t coin the phrase. The “What’s your excuse” line is on a great many inspirational get healthy photos. The problem seems not to be the mantra, but the fact that she is in shape, has a great body for her, and managed to do it while having three kids and several jobs to do. She made the time for getting healthy and staying healthy and I think more people have a problem with that because she is a woman who looks beautiful as she is.

    If you don’t like your body then change it. If you do like it then don’t change it. But don’t go bully somebody else because they are talking about what they’re passionate about and helping inspire other people who just might want to change theirs and get healthy too.

    1. Great points! I wonder if this was a man and did the exact same thing would there be any controversey? I don’t think men would be attacking another man saying that he needs to apologize and put some clothes on…I think it would be fist bumps an hi-5’s.
      I get pretty passionate about helping people because I know in this case the grass is greener!!
      Thanks for taking the time to comment and read the blog!!

Leave a Reply