One thing that really gets me fired up is scrolling through Facebook and seeing someone post about having a bad day and a bunch of their friends jump in and comment with things like “It’s wine o’clock” or ” Come over and let’s have wine.”
That is being a crappy friend.
What will wine, cupcakes, Fettucine Alfredo or a tub of ice cream do to solve your very bad day? NOTHING
There are 3 crappy friend types.
- The Enabler
- The Pusher
- The Facilitator
They are the ones that show up at your house with the bottle of wine or tray of cupcakes. They are the ones that say, “I’m tired too, let’s watch Netflix and chill instead of working out. ” They are more than willing to contribute to your self-destructive behavior.
They are the ones that come to your desk with gummy bears or guilt you into eating what they are eating so that they don’t feel bad eating junk because in their minds, if they are fat they are going to make you fat too. They are the ones that criticize you for eating healthy and working out.
They are the ones that push food and guilt you into eating it because they made it or they bought it special for you. They are like the drug dealer who tells kids, “One joint won’t hurt you.”
This is the person that puts it all together for everyone. They lead the pity party and make sure you have everything you need to stay in the bottom of your bucket. Sure they can be good as well, but more often than not, they don’t offer solutions to help you, they make sure you have everything in place to stay right where you are.
Take a second and think about which one of your friends fits into these categories.
Have you been one of these “friends” and if so, why did you do it?
I think people do this to keep people down – the crab in the bucket story.
It makes people feel better about their place in life if they see you struggle and they want you to wallow in that misery under the veil of “look, I’m such a great friend, I brought you candy and wine”
Some may think they are doing the right thing…you know, being a good friend, in their mind means allowing you to vent, express, eat, make bad choices because it’s what you want.
This is psychological warfare in play.
You need to surround yourself with real friends and also, be a real friend.
Real friends support you.
Real friends encourage you stay the course in your journey.
Real friends don’t minimize your efforts.
Real friends don’t guilt you into doing things that set you back.
A real friend will see you about to make a bad choice and instead of facilitating it, pushing you towards it or enabling you, they set you straight. They remind you of your goals and keep you focused on the positive.
It’s ok to push back.
It’s ok to stand your ground.
It’s ok to say no.
I am giving you permission here and right now to say stop it.
If you are one of these people, stop it please.
Bad food will never solve a problem #EndOfDiscussion.
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